It has occurred to me that I’ve never disclosed my full testimony of how I became a true follower of Jesus. So if you ever find yourself interested, here it is.
I was raised as a Christian. My parents met at a bible study in the Philippines. My mom was a missionary, my dad was a religious program specialist in the Navy, a minister of sorts. So I was always in church activities and around that church atmosphere while growing up.
In fact, my earliest memory is of me as a baby, looking down at my parents, who were looking down at me in a crib. I was above them in a kind of rainbow-cloud, and God was talking to me. He told me, “You have to the be the one to show them the way.” But I didn’t recall this until November 2018, when I specifically asked Jesus to help me remember. He reminded me of this back in 2016, but I thought he was referring to my parents, who I perceived as already godly people that didn’t need any guidance, and so I rejected the message.
Anyway, I’ve always had that strange out-of-body memory, and when I was a child I used pretend I was still with Him. I would talk to Him all the time and remember what He told me. But as I got older, the memories of Him began to fade. Eventually, I started finding church activities boring or hypocritical, and around 14 or 15 I began seriously questioning the authenticity of the Bible—especially anywhere that talked about a “woman’s place.”
My mom was very, “you need to learn how to cook and clean so you can take care of your husband,” and I was very, “why do I have to do more chores than my brother?!” Because of this, I became resentful and “rebellious,” as my mother would call me (to this day I hate cleaning and I never learned to cook till I was married)…but personally, I think I was actually an angel compared to my brother lol. I never did any drugs, didn’t drink, didn’t even date except for two weeks when I was 16. We held hands while walking home from school, and kissed once at a dance. I think I’d kissed a grand total of 4 boys by the time I was 18.
When I was 19, I ended up joining the Navy as a Mass Communication Specialist, and that’s when things started to go downhill spiritually. For the first two years I was pretty good…but then in 2008, while stationed in Boston, I couldn’t muster the courage to find a church on my own and I ended up being completely influenced by the worldly people around me. Those two years in Boston were the “funnest” days of my life, by the world’s standards, but spiritually my darkest.
God even stepped in on Feb. of 2008, by allowing me to tear my ACL and meniscus in my left knee during a skiing accident (it was my first time skiing too). I’ve long since learned that any time I physically fall it’s a reflection of my walk with God. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn my lesson, and my knee surgery was a failure—but I didn’t know for four years. So, I was in constant pain and my knee was always swelling and popping out of place in a very painful way.
When God brought me back to San Diego in the fall of 2009, I started going to church again, but I still had no real connection with God. And at one point I completely stopped going again because a group of girls at the bible study I attended were very judgmental when I started describing my “dream man” in completely physical terms rather than “spiritual qualifications.” Like, OK sorry I misinterpreted the question, but so did NOT need the snootiness.
“Coincidentally,” when Jesus actually appeared to me for the first time, He met all my physical qualifications lol.
Anyway, in 2011 I was soooo thankful to finally meet a guy who was equally possessive and head over heels for me as I was for him that I turned to God and started giving thanks! Like whooo, thank you Jesus! A good man! We met on deployment in February and ended up getting married three months after returning from deployment—a total of about 8 months knowing each other. He was not a Christian…but that was OK with me because at that time I didn’t consider myself much of a Christian either.
I think it’s pertinent to add that when my husband suggested we get married, I asked God and received a very loud, very audible NO. But it didn’t come from the region of my head–it came from my heart! So I was looking around like, ” where did that come from?” and I dismissed it as my imagination.
We ended up eloping Nov. 2011 without telling any of our family because we planned to have an actual marriage celebration the following year. By the way, this is also around the time that I began to receive reconstructive surgery for my knee after all those years. I had to have three surgeries over the course of a year to fix the first failed one.
My husband and I did end up having a cute ceremony with all our family in September 2012, and I actually got pregnant later that month after the ceremony. However, I had a miscarriage in October because I was stupid and didn’t know anything about being pregnant. I thought it was AFTER the first trimester that you were most at risk of losing a baby, so I went ahead and rode a bunch of rides at Sea World…I ended up miscarrying within hours of leaving the amusement park. I was only six weeks pregnant, but it was still heartbreaking. I know it was a boy, and he’s waiting for me in heaven. His name is Caleb.
Anyway, after I got married I would have an off-and-on relationship with God. But mostly it was off. Especially after I started attending university where everyone is basically anti-Christ. I got swept up in the feminist movement for about a year, until I realized they only care about themselves and don’t actually care about the people who are hurting, ie., those being abused and sexually exploited through prostitution.
In 2015, as I was studying my degree for journalism, God kept kindling this passion in me for those who have been sexually abused. I would focus on sharing the story of those who had been victimized for nearly every big school project I was assigned. It might seem a little strange, especially since I’ve never been sexually abused myself (unless you count sexual harassment while in the military), but I could not stop hurting for these women who had been traumatized in this way.
Now in college, although I was older, God blessed me with a kind of age-less personality, which helped me make friends with the younger college girls. I became very close to one in particular. However, she and her friends were all into the New Age movement, which is about mysticism and the occult. Because I was always with her, some of the New Age ideologies were rubbing off on me, and at one point in 2016 I even began to channel a spirit.
Well here’s the backstory. It was late at night in July, and I couldn’t sleep, so I was gazing out my balcony window looking at the stars. One star in particular was very bright, so I just kept looking at it. But the more I looked at it, the more I saw it moving! It became very erratic in its movements, and very visibly moving; I could easily track it with my eyes. It really freaked me out, but I was so fascinated by this star. THEN I saw this light beam shoot out from the star, and within a few moments I saw a pink ball of light moving quickly out of the sky and descend in my direction. It was going up and down like a helicopter behind my apartment complex—like it was looking for something. However, it was completely silent, and moving faster than any aircraft has the ability to! This pink ball of light terrified me so much, I jumped away from my window and back into bed.
I think that ball of light did find me, and it was demonic.
Well about a month later, (August 2016), our family had just moved into a new home, and the fall semester was just beginning at my university. One of my classmates posted an interesting article on twitter about how to “speak wit the universe,” and how the “universe” wants to speak back to us. So I followed the steps, and immediately began channeling. Except I didn’t realize that was what I was doing. I thought I was just conversing with “the universe.”
For about a week, I would open myself to receiving messages from this entity. I would ask questions regarding life and the afterlife; just basic “why is the world like this” questions, and would receive an immediate response. However, the moment I wanted to pray to Jesus I would have an immediate recoil. I would actually avoid speaking the name Jesus out loud, and become hateful of the word. I couldn’t understand why, but felt it was because Jesus was fake and I was in the truth or something.
But for some reason I was watching videos on YouTube and stumbled across a movie called, “The Age of Deceit,” by FaceLikeTheSun. It was a few hours long, and explained how the New Age Movement is all demonic—and how the bible is the ONLY TRUTH. When it talked about channeling, and I realized that’s what I’d been doing, I was immediately on my hands and knees praying for God to forgive me! I felt so dirty that I had to physically wash myself. As I was washing, I felt the presence of God come over me, and I realized I couldn’t remember anything the demon had told me in response to my questions about life. In fact, I couldn’t even remember the specific questions I had asked. And I know it’s because they were all lies, and God was giving me a new slate so I would no longer be deceived. This was Aug. 28, 2016—the day I was reborn.
I continued delving into “the rabbit hole,” as people in this Truther movement of Christian conspiracy theorists call it. I learned so much about the bible, fallen angels, nephilim, Luciferianism, the New World Order, genetic modification and its relation to the mark of the beast in the Book of Revelation.
I started attending church regularly on Jan. 1, 2017, and about three months later is when I met Jesus for the first time in a very life-changing dream. And that’s the background story of how I came to be where I am now.
Thanks for reading, and I hope it has blessed you in some way.